The Morning Sixpack - January 17, 2025
From TikTok bans and Trump’s Hollywood antics to Musk’s exploding rockets and Tesla fires, today’s headlines are chaos on steroids. Welcome to Friday.
Supreme Court Upholds TikTok Ban: A Landmark Decision in U.S.-China Relations
The U.S. Supreme Court has unanimously upheld a federal law banning TikTok unless its Chinese parent company, ByteDance, sells the app by January 19, citing national security concerns. The decision marks a critical moment in the tense geopolitical competition between Washington and Beijing. While existing users can still access the app, new downloads and updates will be blocked, eventually rendering TikTok inoperable. Justice Department filings emphasized the risks of TikTok's data collection practices and its potential manipulation by Chinese authorities, though TikTok has denied such claims, arguing the government provided no evidence of wrongdoing.
"This decision might be just the jolt ByteDance needs to reconsider its position," said Solicitor General Elizabeth Prelogar, underscoring the Biden administration’s push for a resolution. The law, signed by President Joe Biden in April, represents bipartisan efforts to address concerns over data privacy and foreign interference. However, ByteDance has resisted selling TikTok, even as prominent figures like Steven Mnuchin and Frank McCourt explore acquisition opportunities.
As the ban looms, uncertainty grows around TikTok’s future in the U.S. The app has become a cultural phenomenon with 170 million American users, including prominent politicians like President-elect Donald Trump, who counts 14.7 million followers. Legal and logistical hurdles complicate potential sales, further highlighting the growing divide between the U.S. and China over technology and security.
Source: AP News - Supreme Court upholds law banning TikTok
In other news, Biden says he won’t enforce the Supreme Court’s ruling.
In other OTHER news, it doesn’t matter: Biden is POTUS for about 100 more hours and then we’re back in scene 3 of Groundhog Day.
Trump’s Day One Immigration Orders: A Hard-Line Agenda in Motion
President-elect Donald Trump is poised to kick off his second term with an aggressive slate of executive orders on immigration, aiming to deliver on his campaign promises and signal a closed-door policy at the U.S. border. Although his ambitious plans for mass deportations and ending birthright citizenship face significant legal and logistical hurdles, Trump’s immediate actions will focus on dismantling Biden-era policies and reviving measures from his first term. “The president is going to take his actions. The other side is going to sue him,” said Rep. Darrell Issa, highlighting the contentious path ahead for Trump’s agenda.
Key elements of Trump’s initial moves include reinstating the "Remain in Mexico" policy, expanding expedited removal authority, and ending the catch-and-release program that allowed migrants to await court hearings in U.S. communities. His team is also weighing a national emergency declaration to unlock resources for securing the border and deporting millions of undocumented immigrants. However, critics argue that these measures could face immediate court challenges, with Kica Matos, president of the National Immigration Law Center, warning, “We should expect that they’re going to do everything they can to follow through on their threats.”
As Trump rallies Republican lawmakers to translate executive orders into enduring legislation, the pressure on Congress to provide funding and resources will intensify. Meanwhile, hard-line allies like Stephen Miller and Tom Homan are shaping a far-reaching immigration strategy, including potential travel bans and stricter visa policies.
Are you ready for the shitshow 2.0? I am. But I’m not brown.
Source: Politico - Trump’s Day One Immigration Executive Actions
From the shitshow to the clownshow…
Trump’s Hollywood Dream Team: A "Clown Show" Appointment Leaves Critics in Stitches
President-elect Donald Trump’s latest stunt has left social media reeling. His appointment of Jon Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone as “special ambassadors” to Hollywood is being mocked as a misguided attempt to revive the U.S. movie industry.
Trump, who announced the move on Truth Social, claimed the trio will act as his “eyes and ears” in Tinseltown, citing a supposed decline in the industry caused by foreign competition.
The internet, however, quickly dubbed the move a “clown show,” with many asking if this was Trump’s idea of a Hollywood reboot or just a bad sequel.
The backlash came swiftly, with one critic calling it “Shades of the 1950s! The Three Commissars will bring back the Blacklist.”
Another quipped, “Scott Baio is fkn pissed right now,” referring to Trump’s apparent snub of other MAGA-aligned actors. The Daily Show joined the roasting session, imagining Gibson starting the job with his infamous tirades.
For an administration that’s long criticized Hollywood elites, Trump’s decision to enlist these three polarizing stars seems, at best, a puzzling plot twist.
Critics aren’t buying the sincerity of this appointment, calling it another Trump vanity project wrapped in a poorly written script.
“I thought MAGA said actors should stick to acting?” quipped one commenter. With Hollywood already buzzing with mockery, it’s clear this “ambassadorship” is shaping up to be less of a blockbuster and more of a straight-to-DVD disaster.
I’ll take Arnold Schwarzenegger over Sylvester Stallone any day. The Terminator will obliterate Rambo!
Source: HuffPost - Trump’s Hollywood Ambassadors Announcement
Bezos’ Blue Origin Takes Flight: New Glenn Launch Silences Doubters
In the early hours of Thursday morning, Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin achieved a major milestone, successfully launching its New Glenn rocket into orbit for the first time. The 320-foot-tall rocket roared to life at 2:03 a.m. Eastern, illuminating the Cape Canaveral sky with the flames of its seven methane-fueled engines. Thirteen minutes later, its second stage reached orbit, proving that Bezos’ space venture can now compete with Elon Musk’s SpaceX after years of skepticism and delays. “There was reason to doubt before this launch if Blue Origin actually had the technical capability,” noted Todd Harrison, a space policy analyst, “and now they’ve proven that they do.”
While the orbital flight was hailed as a success, the mission wasn’t without hiccups. Blue Origin’s ambitious attempt to land the rocket’s booster stage on a barge in the Atlantic failed, cutting off data mid-descent. “We’ll learn a lot from today and try again at our next launch this spring,” said Blue Origin CEO Dave Limp. Despite this setback, the company’s credibility in the commercial space industry has reached new heights, with plans to scale up launches in the coming year.
New Glenn’s debut positions Blue Origin as a serious contender in the space race, with eyes on contracts from NASA, the Department of Defense, and commercial ventures like Amazon’s Project Kuiper. As Bezos accelerates his vision for human life and industry in space, the successful launch marks a critical turning point. “Jeff would like us to do more, so we’re pushing,” Limp remarked. With this landmark achievement, Blue Origin is no longer just a billionaire’s passion project—it’s a legitimate player in the modern space era.
Source: NY Times - Bezos’ Blue Origin Launch
Meanwhile, Leon’s world is exploding all around him! Read on.
SpaceX’s Starship Goes Boom, Musk Calls It a "Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly"
In classic Elon Musk style, SpaceX turned a catastrophic explosion into a linguistic flex, labeling its latest Starship mishap as a "rapid unscheduled disassembly."
Translation? It blew up.
The unmanned spacecraft, designed to edge humanity closer to Mars, managed an eight-minute flight before losing contact and erupting into a fiery spectacle over the Caribbean.
Social media, unsurprisingly, had a field day.
"It. Blew. Up. Starship exploded," one user quipped, while another joked, "Who knew when SpaceX Starship explodes, it looks like an LGBTQ pride flag?"
The internet wasn't about to let Musk’s attempt to rebrand failure slide.
Despite the fiery fiasco, SpaceX spun the event as a learning experience, claiming, "With a test like this, success comes from what we learn." Sure, Elon, but maybe also from not having your rocket rain debris over the Caribbean and delaying flights. The Federal Aviation Administration even had to reroute planes to avoid falling space junk, and Australian airline Qantas wasn’t thrilled about the last-minute chaos. Meanwhile, Musk cheerfully declared, "Every Starship launch is one more step closer towards Mars." At this rate, Mars might prefer Jeff Bezos’ rockets instead.
Adding insult to injury, Blue Origin launched its New Glenn rocket just hours earlier, reaching orbit on its maiden flight. While Bezos also lost his booster, at least it didn’t turn into a sky-high confetti show.
As SpaceX boasts of "significant upgrades" to Starship’s design, critics suggest the company’s real innovation might just be in spinning PR gold from explosive misfires. For now, Musk can keep his disassemblies—and his dictionary.
Source: Daily Mail - SpaceX mocked for midair explosion
So Musk’s rockets blow up… and then this battery storage facility full of—you guessed it!—Tesla batteries that caught fire. Oh, wait, one more! Tesla cars exacerbating the LA fires. What a day for Leon!!!
Massive Fire at Moss Landing Battery Plant Sparks Evacuations and Road Closures
A massive fire broke out Thursday afternoon at the Vistra battery storage plant in Moss Landing, California, forcing evacuations for over 1,500 residents and shutting down Highway 1. The plant, one of the largest of its kind globally, houses tens of thousands of lithium batteries that store renewable energy for the grid. While the fire was reportedly contained within a concrete structure whose roof collapsed, flames and toxic black smoke continued to billow, creating hazardous conditions. “There’s no way to sugarcoat it. This is a disaster, is what it is,” said Monterey County Supervisor Glen Church.
The sprawling facility includes a 750-megawatt Vistra installation and a separate 182-megawatt plant operated by PG&E, which houses 256 Tesla “Megapack” battery units.
Lithium battery fires are notoriously difficult to extinguish and emit toxic gases that pose severe health risks. This is not the first incident at Moss Landing; previous fires in 2021 and 2022 at the same site exposed flaws in fire suppression systems, leading to tighter regulations for battery plants statewide.
As the fire raged, residents were evacuated to the Castroville Recreation Center, and road closures were implemented around the area. Despite California’s push for renewable energy, incidents like these highlight the risks of scaling battery technology. State Sen. John Laird, who authored legislation for stricter safety measures, noted, “Increasing the state’s battery storage is essential to reaching our clean energy goals, but we also have to ensure that these facilities have safety systems in place to protect the health and well-being of workers and surrounding communities.”
Source: Mercury News - Huge fire at Moss Landing battery plant
Finally…
BONUS: Burning Teslas Exacerbate LA’s Fiery Apocalypse
As Los Angeles recovers from devastating wildfires, lithium-ion batteries from Tesla cars and Powerwalls are now the surprise villains of the disaster cleanup effort.
These flaming hazards have turned into toxic bonfires, delaying the return of evacuees and leaving the state looking like the backdrop of a Mad Max sequel.
Good thing Trump put Mel Gibson on blast!
"We’ve heard from firefighters that those lithium batteries burned fires near homes – like those with Powerwalls – for much longer," noted Assembly Member Jacqui Irwin, clearly thrilled to explain why Teslas don’t just die—they go out in a blaze of glory.
But wait, there’s more! Just as fire crews were dousing flaming Teslas, Elon Musk's other ventures joined the inferno extravaganza.
SpaceX managed to blow up another Starship in what it proudly called a "rapid unscheduled disassembly," because apparently, if you use enough syllables, nobody will notice your rocket just went kaboom.
Over at Tesla's battery pack facility in Moss Landing, a separate fire added even more smoke and flames to the tech apocalypse. If there’s a prize for “Most Fire-Prone Tech Conglomerate,” Musk is running unopposed.
Meanwhile, cleanup crews are left to deal with this mess. Between Teslas turning into chemical smoke machines, battery plants going up in flames, and rocket debris sprinkling the Caribbean, Californians can now look forward to toxic runoff polluting Malibu’s beaches.
Governor Gavin Newsom, still pushing for zero-emission vehicles by 2035, had to admit, “The state is still adapting to newer technologies.”
Translation: Nobody thought through what happens when all those batteries catch fire.
Malibu Mayor Doug Stewart summed it up: “A beautiful day in Malibu is what draws us here and makes life so idyllic. That’s what we have to protect.”
Good luck with that when the ocean smells like a Tesla barbecue.
Somehow, Musk moving to Texas and its reputation for good BBQ makes all the more sense now.
Source: Financial Post - Burning Teslas Add Toxic Pollution Delaying L.A. Return