The Morning Sixpack - January 7, 2025
Harris lost the election, didn't act like a little bitch, and Jan6 goes off without a hitch.
Late-Night Humor Reflects on a Peaceful Jan. 6: "Democracy at Its Best"
In stark contrast to the chaos of recent years, this January 6 passed without drama or disruption—an event late-night hosts embraced with a mix of humor and relief.
Stephen Colbert celebrated the return to normalcy, joking, “The striking thing about this time was how normal it was again. There was no riot. No one broke a window with their beard.” His lighthearted remark set the tone for a night of comedic reflections on democracy functioning smoothly.
Jimmy Kimmel highlighted the uneventfulness of the day, contrasting it with past turmoil: “Democrats lost, and they accepted that they lost. There were no vegan baristas scaling the Capitol walls, no one was wearing animal horns, no one was in face paint, calling themselves the ‘Blue-Anon Shaman.’” His commentary underscored the significance of civility in politics while maintaining his signature wit.
Jon Stewart summed it up with a sharp observation about the power of maturity in preserving democracy: “It’s amazing how smoothly our democracy can work when you don’t act like a little bitch when you lose. Not naming names. Just saying.”
He meant Trump. That’s the name Stewart didn’t name.
As the country moves forward, the day served as a reminder of how the peaceful transfer of power can reflect the very best of democratic values.
I kid.
Put another way (i.e., facts), January 6, 2021 was an aberration brought on, lead, and carried out from the very top of the US government at the time. Trump ginned up his cult, told them he’d go fight with them, and then he chickened out.
AND THEN he watched it for hours on TV, chugging Diet Cokes and slogging down Big Macs.
Source: http://mydailygrind.news/late-night-hosts-appreciate-an-uneventful-jan-6
Trump to DOJ: Keep That Special Counsel Report Under Wraps, Pretty Please
As Donald Trump gears up to retake the presidency on January 20, he’s making headlines again—this time by politely asking Attorney General Merrick Garland to tuck the Special Counsel’s final report away where no one can see it.
Because, you know, nothing screams transparency like preemptively burying a document the public might find interesting. Trump’s request has set off a firestorm of speculation about exactly what he doesn’t want us to know.
NOTE: This happened with the Mueller report, too. Bob Barr pre-emptively shut down that report by summarizing it to the American people before it was released. By then, the damage had been done.
The timing couldn’t be more on-brand, as the country braces for another chapter in Trumpian “governance.”
The irony wasn’t lost on observers, with some noting that this is a man who once promised to “drain the swamp,” now seemingly eager to toss a tarp over it. Critics are calling for the DOJ to release the report, arguing that democracy works best in the sunlight—even if that sunlight makes Trump squirm like the lizard he is.
Here’s the deal: We pay taxes. We paid for that report. I personally want to see the work product of our taxpayer-funded Department of Justice.
And let the chips fall where they may. Why does Trump care anyway? He’s POTUS.
Source: http://mydailygrind.news/trump-requests-merrick-garland-not-release-final-special-counsel-report
Tragedy at 30,000 Feet: Two Found Dead in JetBlue Plane’s Landing Gear
A tragic discovery was made Tuesday when two bodies were found in the landing gear compartment of a JetBlue plane during a routine maintenance check at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.
The aircraft had just completed Flight 1801 from New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport late Monday night. Authorities are now investigating how the individuals gained access to the plane, with their identities currently being withheld.
“This is a heartbreaking situation, and we are committed to working closely with authorities to support their efforts to understand how this occurred,” a JetBlue spokesperson said. The airline is cooperating fully with investigators to determine how the individuals managed to enter such a secure area.
The grim incident has raised questions about security measures at JFK and other major airports. As the investigation unfolds, the aviation community and public alike are left grappling with the unsettling realities behind this tragic event.
In other news, AOL still exists!
Source: http://aol.com/2-found-dead-jetblue-plane-115122170.html
Trump Jr. Heads to Greenland: Because Why Not?
Donald Trump Jr. is off to Greenland, apparently on a mission to explore “magnificent areas and sights,” according to a Truth Social post from his father, President-Elect Donald Trump.
Of course, the timing is impeccable—just weeks after Trump floated the idea of the U.S. acquiring Greenland again.
Because what’s a second term without a little geopolitical shopping spree? Trump Sr. added that the island’s residents would “benefit tremendously if, and when, it becomes part of our Nation.” Nothing says “we care” like uninvited guests with ambitions of annexation.
Greenland’s leaders, unsurprisingly, are not rolling out the red carpet. Prime Minister Múte B. Egede shut down the idea with the same energy as someone declining a bad timeshare pitch: “Greenland is ours. We are not for sale and will never be for sale.”
Denmark, equally unimpressed, boosted defense spending for Greenland and updated its royal coat of arms to include the island more prominently. Translation: “Stay in your lane.”
Meanwhile, Trump Jr.’s trip seems more like a vanity project than diplomacy—Reuters reports he’s just recording footage for a podcast. Because, obviously, what Greenland needs is a MAGA-branded travel vlog.
Adding to the circus, Elon Musk couldn’t resist chiming in, tweeting, “The people of Greenland should decide their future, and I think they want to be part of America!” Sure, Elon, because what every self-governing Danish territory wants is unsolicited advice from the guy trying to colonize Mars.
As Trump Jr. packs his parka, the whole episode feels less like a strategic move and more like a bizarre mix of Manifest Destiny and reality TV.
To reiterate…Greenland: Please read some history books about how the White Man murdered thousands upon thousands of Native Americans back in the day.
I kid. You’ll be fine. Probably.
High-Stakes Diplomacy: U.S. Negotiates American Hostage Swap with Taliban
The Biden administration is reportedly in delicate negotiations with the Taliban to secure the release of three Americans detained in Afghanistan since 2022. In exchange, the U.S. is considering handing over Muhammad Rahim al Afghani, a Guantanamo Bay prisoner alleged to have been a senior Al Qaeda associate close to Osama bin Laden.
The talks, ongoing since mid-2024, remain tense as both sides debate the terms of the exchange, which could also involve additional detainees.
The Taliban, countering the White House's initial offer in November, proposed a deal for Rahim and two other prisoners in exchange for George Glezmann and Ryan Corbett. This has sparked concern from U.S. lawmakers, with House Foreign Affairs Committee Chair Rep. Michael McCaul expressing doubts during a classified session in December, calling the Taliban’s counteroffer “not a good deal for the U.S.” Despite the political friction, the administration maintains its focus on the Americans’ safe return.
National Security Council spokesman Sean Savett underscored the gravity of the situation, stating, “The safety and security of Americans overseas is one of the Biden-Harris Administration’s top priorities, and we are working around the clock to ensure George, Ryan, and Mahmoud’s safe return.”
As negotiations continue, the outcome of this high-stakes diplomatic effort remains uncertain with serious implications for U.S. foreign policy and national security.
Meta Kicks Fact-Checkers to the Curb, Declares Itself the New Wild West of Free Speech
Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta Platforms has decided it’s time to ditch the pesky fact-checkers and let the internet run wild again.
In a Tuesday video, Zuckerberg smugly announced, “We’re going to get back to our roots and focus on reducing mistakes, simplifying our policies, and restoring free expression.”
Translation: no more meddling with misinformation; the users can sort it out themselves. Instead, Meta will roll out Community Notes, a copy-paste from Elon Musk’s free-speech playground over at X. Because nothing says “progress” like recycling ideas from a billionaire buddy.
Quote from the teen icon: “We’re going to get rid of fact-checkers and replace them with Community Notes similar to X, starting in the U.S.”
This sudden pivot isn’t just about “free expression.” It’s also about cozying up to the incoming Trump administration.
Meta has thrown $1 million into Trump’s inaugural fund, Zuckerberg had a Thanksgiving sit-down with Trump at Mar-a-Lago, and UFC President (and Trump superfan) Dana White just got a shiny new board seat at Meta.
Oh, and they promoted Bush-era GOP insider Joel Kaplan to oversee global policy, proving Meta is all-in on pandering to conservatives.
Zuckerberg’s latest buzzwords about bias and mistakes seem more like code for “we need friends in Washington.”
Critics are already comparing Meta’s move to Musk’s anything-goes Twitter reboot, but even Musk occasionally pretends to care about user safety.
Meta, on the other hand, is relocating its “trust and safety” teams from California to Texas—because what could go wrong with outsourcing content moderation to a state known for its loose reins?
As misinformation gears up for a free-for-all, Meta’s message is clear: let the chaos begin.
so, time to move?