The Morning Sixpack - March 24, 2025
Are you getting sick of Trump, Trump, Trump all the time? I sure am.
Listen to the Podcast:
Espionage Risk Soars as Trump-Musk Mass Firings Create Recruitment Goldmine for U.S. Adversaries
Thousands of federal workers are being purged in the Trump administration’s latest shake-up—a sweeping overhaul led by Elon Musk’s newly created Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) (not a real department). The move isn’t just controversial—it’s a gift to foreign spy agencies.
National security experts warn that Russia, China, and other adversaries are likely salivating at the prospect of recruiting freshly unemployed insiders with knowledge of sensitive U.S. systems.
“It’s a numbers game,” said former counterintelligence official John Schindler. “Someone is going to go rogue. It’s just a question of how bad it will be.”
In just three months, the number of federal employees leaving their jobs has exploded far beyond the annual average of 100,000—not due to retirement or career moves, but due to mass firings.
Intelligence and cybersecurity experts say this opens the door to a massive counterespionage threat.
Former White House CIO Theresa Payton put it bluntly: “This information is highly valuable, and it shouldn’t be surprising that Russia and China and other organizations—criminal syndicates for instance—would be aggressively recruiting government employees.”
These aren’t just spies or military insiders— even a disgruntled IRS worker or a low-level DOE contractor could hold the keys to critical data.
As Musk’s DOGE aggressively strips down federal infrastructure, adversaries are likely browsing LinkedIn profiles of ex-feds like it’s a Black Friday sale.
Schindler warned that “you go on LinkedIn, you see someone who was ‘formerly at Department of Defense now looking for work,’ and it’s like, ‘Bingo.’”
Even worse, fake job postings and phony “consulting gigs” could be used to extract classified info without the worker ever realizing they’re being played. And while most government employees are loyal patriots, it only takes one defector to ignite a national security crisis—just ask Russia, which executed U.S. informants after intel leaks from spies like Robert Hanssen.
Source: AP News
Trump Floats Idea of Joining the British Empire
1776 was just a polite disagreement.
Why stop at tariffs when you can flirt with joining the old empire you once broke up with? In a move that sent George Washington spinning in his powdered wig, President Donald Trump announced he’s totally down with the U.S. becoming an “associate member” of the British Commonwealth.
His royal enthusiasm? “I love King Charles. Sounds good to me!”
That gem was posted to Truth Social after reports surfaced that the King would extend a secret olive branch during Trump’s upcoming state visit. And just like that, America’s break-up letter from 1776 might be getting reconsideration. “I’m so sorry. Please take me back!”
The move is largely symbolic—like bringing your ex to Thanksgiving but still living in separate houses—but it’s raising eyebrows, especially given Trump’s past love-hate saga with the European Union. While King Charles would technically remain a figurehead, this "associate membership" would be a nod to the UK’s post-Brexit bromance with the Trump White House.
Insiders claim the Commonwealth pitch was first floated under Queen Elizabeth and is being revived now to tighten the so-called "special relationship."
One Royal Commonwealth Society source even said, “Donald Trump loves Britain and has great respect for the Royal Family... Associate membership could, hopefully, be followed by full membership.”
Somewhere, Paul Revere is yelling, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
Of course, not everyone is lining up for tea and scones.
Canada, a full Commonwealth member and constant Trump punching bag, is reportedly sweating bullets. Trump has repeatedly joked (?) about making Canada the 51st state, a threat that now sounds a bit more loaded.
Meanwhile, critics argue that this is just another Trumpian ego trip wrapped in royal fanboy cosplay. Still, for Trump, it’s a carriage ride, a banquet, and another chance to call someone “beautiful”—this time, it’s King Charles.
America: once revolutionary, now maybe just... nostalgic cuck?
Source: Daily Mail
Trump to Lawyers: Sue Me and You’re Toast
In what can only be described as a legal temper tantrum dressed up as policy, President Trump just signed a late-night memo threatening to unleash the full force of the government on any law firm that dares challenge his administration.
The decree orders the Justice and Homeland Security departments to sanction attorneys who file what he deems “frivolous, unreasonable, and vexatious” lawsuits.
Translation: If your case makes him look bad, expect a government smackdown.
Civil rights leader Vanita Gupta wasn’t having it: “This moment calls for courage and collective action, not capitulation, among lawyers and the legal profession.”
Trump’s memo reads like a mob boss sending a warning to the courthouse. After already blacklisting a top law firm, Paul Weiss, and forcing them into a humiliating $40 million “donation” to causes he supports, Trump now wants every courtroom in America to think twice before crossing him.
And just to really drive the point home, he name-dropped longtime legal nemesis Marc Elias, whom he blames for all things Russia-gate.
Elias fired back: “There will be no negotiation with this White House about the clients we represent or the lawsuits we bring on their behalf.”
Let’s be real: This isn't about legal ethics—it's about raw power.
Trump is using the federal government like a baseball bat to kneecap anyone who files a motion against him.
One law firm, Keker Van Nest & Peters, called the memo “inexcusable and despicable,” adding, “Our profession owes every client zealous legal representation without fear of retribution.”
But in Trump’s world, you’re either with him—or you're blackballed.
Source: NYT
Trump’s ‘Golden Dome’ Missile Fantasy: Big Price Tag, No Blueprint, and a Whole Lotta Orbiting Chaos
Because why invest in health care or infrastructure when you can launch a trillion-dollar space umbrella?
President Trump’s latest defense brainchild—dubbed the “Golden Dome”—has the Pentagon frantically playing catch-up to build a missile shield straight out of a sci-fi movie.
The goal? A U.S. version of Israel’s Iron Dome… except it would somehow cover an entire continent, shoot down intercontinental ballistic missiles, and possibly even hypersonics.
One Pentagon insider put it bluntly: “Right now, Golden Dome is… really an idea.”
Translation: there’s no plan, no prototype, and no physics to back it up—but hey, no expense will be spared!
Trump signed an executive order demanding the Defense Department sketch out this next-gen space shield by March 28, and defense contractors like Lockheed Martin are already dusting off their PowerPoints and seeing dollar signs.
But experts say this whole thing smells suspiciously like a Star Wars reboot—with a bloated budget and a predictable ending.
"It’s a joke. It’s basically a scam," said John Tierney, former congressman turned missile defense realist.
One study estimates it would take 16,000 space interceptors just to deal with a North Korean missile salvo. That's right—sixteen thousand. Meanwhile, even a halfway decent ground-based system still can’t cover more than a few cities, let alone the whole country.
And here’s the kicker: Building this floating gold-plated piñata of death could backfire spectacularly. Experts warn that if China or Russia thinks the U.S. could launch a first strike without fear of retaliation, the arms race is back on—this time in orbit.
“Strategically, it doesn’t make any sense. Technically, it doesn’t make any sense. Economically it doesn’t make any sense,” Tierney added.
But in Trump’s world, that’s just three reasons to greenlight it.
Source: MDGN
Trump’s Deportation Blitz Hits Cuban Immigrants—Even the Ones Who Played by the Rules
In a move that’s got Miami immigration lawyers and Cuban families rattled, ICE has started detaining Cuban nationals—mostly women—during their scheduled immigration check-ins, despite having no criminal records and pending asylum or green card cases.
These are folks who’ve followed all the rules, armed only with I-220A documents (which basically say, “You’re free... for now”) after crossing into the U.S. legally. Under Biden, they were left alone. Under Trump? Not so much.
As immigration attorney Mark Prada put it: “It’s all discretion and priority decisions. And right now the priority is to deport every person under the sun.”
The crackdown came seemingly out of nowhere.
One woman, Beatriz Monteagudo, vanished from contact after heading to her check-in appointment on March 10. She resurfaced in a detention center, telling her friend she was held alongside at least 18 other Cubans with similar paperwork.
The reason? Vague mentions of “changed laws” and silence from officials.
Immigration attorneys say the detentions are legally shaky and politically strategic. “This step was taken to detain her and place everyone in a panic,” said attorney Eduardo Soto, who’s prepping a federal lawsuit.
The message? If you’re Cuban and here on borrowed paperwork, don’t get too comfy.
And the kicker? Many of these detainees—like Monteagudo—fled political persecution in Cuba, including participating in the July 11, 2021, anti-government protests. If deported, they’re likely to be imprisoned.
Meanwhile, Cuban-American lawmakers who backed Trump are now publicly scrambling to contain the fallout.
Prada didn’t mince words: “People come out in favor of the face-eating leopards... and then they get surprised when the leopard eats their face.”
Welcome to immigration policy in 2025, where the leopard bites—and your paperwork means squat.
Source: Yahoo! News
Trump's Deportation Plan Relies on Law His Own Sister Called Unconstitutional
You really can’t make this stuff up. The Trump administration is now leaning on a dusty old 1952 law to deport Mahmoud Khalil, a lawful U.S. resident and Columbia University protest organizer. There's just one teensy problem: that law was ruled unconstitutional in 1996… by none other than Trump’s own sister, the late Judge Maryanne Trump Barry.
Yes, the same sister he once hailed as “the smartest person on the Court.”
Her ruling shredded the law for giving “unfettered discretion to the secretary of state”—a power she called flat-out unconstitutional. “The answer,” she wrote, “is a ringing ‘no.’”
But irony isn’t a deterrent in Trumpworld—it’s practically a policy pillar.
Though her decision wasn’t binding (an appeals court reversed it on technicalities, not substance), Judge Barry’s legal reasoning remains the most thorough takedown of the law in question.
Yet, here we are in 2025, with the Trump administration trying to wield the same law as a cudgel to deport a green card holder who dared to protest. The courtrooms may be packed with “crooked judges,” according to Trump, but he sure did admire his sister’s brain… when it wasn’t inconvenient.
The administration is relying on a legally wobbly, largely untested Cold War relic that Trump’s own family deemed unconstitutional.
And Khalil? He’s just the first of many on the chopping block, as Trump ramps up mass deportation plans. If this is the legal hill they want to die on, they might want to reread the family archives first.
Source: NYT