The Morning Sixpack - September 2, 2025

Quakes, tariffs, breakups, bromances & car wrecks—global chaos, corporate splits, Trump tantrums & Giuliani in traction.

Afghanistan’s Midnight Earthquake Leaves 800 Dead, Thousands Injured

Entire villages have been reduced to rubble as desperate Afghans dig with their bare hands for loved ones still trapped. A 6.0 magnitude quake struck eastern Afghanistan late Sunday, killing at least 800 people and injuring more than 2,500, according to Taliban government officials.

Centered just 17 miles from Jalalabad, the quake ripped through Kunar province, flattening mud-brick homes and cutting off remote mountain villages from help. Survivors describe entire communities wiped out in minutes, with blocked roads forcing rescuers to trek for hours on foot. “Children are under the rubble. The elderly are under the rubble. Young people are under the rubble,” one villager pleaded.

Footage from the aftermath shows people hauling the wounded on stretchers toward helicopters while neighbors clawed at collapsed buildings with bare hands. Sadiqullah, a survivor from Nurgal district, said he managed to save three of his children before a wall collapsed, burying him. “My wife and two sons are dead, and my father is injured,” he told AP. “We were trapped for three to four hours until people from other areas arrived and pulled me out.”

The Taliban’s chief spokesman, Zabihullah Mujahid, warned the toll will rise as many villages remain inaccessible. The quake was felt as far away as Islamabad, Pakistan, though no casualties were reported there. Relief efforts are underway, but Afghanistan’s ongoing humanitarian crisis—already strained by drought, mass refugee expulsions, and donor fatigue—has left aid agencies scrambling for resources. “Numbers may increase,” officials admitted.

The International Red Cross says immediate needs include search and rescue, food, water, and medical supplies. The U.N. refugee chief Filippo Grandi added bluntly: “This adds death and destruction to other challenges… Hopefully the donor community will not hesitate to support relief efforts.” Translation: Afghanistan was already on the brink—and this just pushed it over.

Source: AP News

If Afghanistan had a “bad year” bingo card, natural disasters just stole the center square. And somehow, the world still acts surprised every time a crisis here gets worse.

Texas Boy, 11, Killed After “Ding Dong Ditch” Prank Turns Deadly

An 11-year-old boy was shot in the back and killed in Houston after ringing a doorbell as part of a prank. Police say the child, who hasn’t yet been identified, died of his injuries on Sunday after being gunned down late Saturday night.

According to Sgt. Michael Cass of Houston’s homicide division, a witness recalled someone leaving the house that had been pranked and “shooting at the kids running down the street.” Cass added, “Unfortunately, sadly enough, one of the boys was shot in the back.” Police questioned a man at the home but released him without charges as the investigation continues.

This isn’t an isolated case. In July, 58-year-old Damon Wolfe of Frisco was arrested for firing multiple rounds at a passing car after teenagers tried the same prank. He claimed he thought someone was trying to kick in his door. Police didn’t buy it and slapped him with three counts of aggravated assault.

The so-called “ding dong ditch” has a history of turning fatal. In 2023, a California man was convicted of first-degree murder for intentionally ramming a car of teens who rang his bell. Just this May, a Virginia man was charged with second-degree murder after shooting an 18-year-old filming the prank for TikTok.

A prank that used to mean a harmless sprint down the block now leaves families burying their kids. Maybe the problem isn’t the prank—it’s the hair-trigger paranoia armed to the teeth in suburban America.

Source: CBS News

If your first reaction to a doorbell is to grab a gun, maybe the real emergency isn’t outside your house—it’s inside your head.

It’s utterly ridiculous what this country has become. You’re so angry about somebody playing doorbell ditch that you MURDER them? WTAF!!!

Xi Rolls Out the Red Carpet for Putin as “Old Friend” in Beijing

China and Russia are tightening their embrace while both take heat from the U.S.—and they don’t care who notices. Xi Jinping welcomed Vladimir Putin in Beijing on Tuesday, calling him an “old friend” as the two leaders pledged deeper ties at a time when both are locked in political and economic standoffs with Washington.

Putin responded by hailing their relationship as “at an unprecedentedly high level.” After the formal sit-down, Xi even hosted him for tea inside Zhongnanhai, China’s ultra-exclusive power compound. If that sounds like a show of solidarity, it’s because it is—especially with a new natural gas pipeline deal on the table and China announcing visa-free entry for Russian travelers starting this month.

Both men had just attended a Shanghai Cooperation Organization summit in Tianjin, where Xi pitched his vision of “a more just and equitable global governance system.” Translation: the U.S.-dominated order doesn’t work for them, so they want to bend it until it does. As one Chinese scholar bluntly put it, “China and Russia face the same problem and must work together to jointly cope with the pressure from the U.S.”

Meanwhile, Trump’s tariffs and sanctions aren’t just hitting China—they’ve pushed India into a strange dance with both Beijing and Moscow. Modi met separately with Xi and Putin during the summit but politely skipped out on China’s upcoming military parade. For Xi, it’s all part of the effort to rally a coalition of countries that feel steamrolled by American dominance.

The backdrop is grim: Russia still grinding through its war in Ukraine, China still navigating Trump’s economic squeeze. But when Xi says “old friend” and Putin answers “we were always together then, we remain together now,” the message is clear. They’re betting on each other to survive the long game against the West.

Source: AP News

If this bromance gets any cozier, someone’s going to have to start selling commemorative friendship bracelets in Red Square and Tiananmen.

Federal Appeals Court Smacks Down Trump’s “Reciprocal Tariffs”

A federal appeals court just gutted the core of Trump’s trade agenda, ruling most of his tariffs flat-out illegal. In a 7-4 decision, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit said Trump went way beyond his authority when he slapped levies on nearly every country in the world under his self-declared “liberation day” plan.

The ruling means Trump’s tariffs—which were set to cover 69% of U.S. imports—could shrink to around 16% if the Supreme Court doesn’t bail him out. The duties remain in effect until Oct. 14 to give the administration time to appeal. But the court was clear: “The core Congressional power to impose taxes such as tariffs is vested exclusively in the legislative branch by the Constitution.” In other words, Congress makes taxes, not Trump.

Trump, of course, took to social media and declared, “If allowed to stand, this Decision would literally destroy the United States of America.” Relax, Don. The country existed just fine before you started playing whack-a-mole with tariffs. He had leaned on the 1977 International Emergency Economic Powers Act to declare the trade deficit a “national emergency,” but the court didn’t buy it.

Not all of Trump’s tariffs are dead. His beloved Section 232 steel and aluminum tariffs remain untouched and are actually expanding. More than 400 new product categories now face 50% duties, and those levies are structured to be harder to challenge in court. Meanwhile, tariffs on cheap imports under $800 are now in effect, hitting small businesses that relied on the exemption.

The global fallout is already real. India and Brazil were hit with 50% tariffs, while most other countries faced a 10% baseline. Now, with the court putting his agenda on shaky ground, Trump will either have to scale back or keep doubling down with narrower, sector-specific tariffs. Either way, his “tariff first, think later” strategy is taking on serious water.

Source: CNBC

Trump’s trade war is starting to look less like “The Art of the Deal” and more like “The Art of Getting Bench-Slapped by Federal Judges.”

Kraft Heinz Calls It Quits: The Mega-Merger Unwinds After a Decade of Decline

One of the biggest food marriages of all time is ending in divorce—Kraft Heinz is splitting in two. A decade after Warren Buffett helped orchestrate the blockbuster merger, the food giant is breaking apart as years of missteps, consumer shifts, and multibillion-dollar write-downs finally caught up.

The plan is simple: Heinz, Kraft Mac & Cheese, and Philadelphia cream cheese will live under one roof, while Oscar Mayer, Lunchables, Maxwell House, and Capri Sun will be bundled into another. CEO Carlos Abrams-Rivera will run the grocery half, betting two smaller companies can succeed where one bloated behemoth failed.

It’s hard to call this anything but a flop for Buffett, who once admitted he “was wrong in a couple of ways on Kraft Heinz” after overpaying in 2015. The cost-cutting, slash-and-burn strategy pushed by Brazilian firm 3G Capital may have worked for Burger King, but it starved Kraft Heinz of innovation. By 2019, the company wrote down $15 billion on iconic brands like Oscar Mayer and Kraft, sparking lawsuits and regulatory probes.

Things only got worse. In July, Kraft Heinz posted an $8 billion net loss thanks to a $9.3 billion impairment charge. Berkshire Hathaway followed with its own $3.8 billion write-down. Meanwhile, inflation sent shoppers running to cheaper store brands, while startups chipped away with trendier snacks. The supposed “sauces and meals powerhouse” vision never materialized.

Now, after losing two-thirds of its market value since the merger peak, Kraft Heinz is effectively admitting the whole thing soured. The stock actually rose on news of the breakup, which tells you all you need to know about investor confidence in the marriage Buffett once thought would be a feast.

Source: NPR

Nothing says corporate America like squeezing the cheese out of your brands until there’s nothing left—then pretending the fix is just cutting the block in half.

Rudy Giuliani Hospitalized After New Hampshire Car Crash

Rudy Giuliani is in the hospital with a fractured vertebrae and multiple injuries after his car was rear-ended at high speed. The 81-year-old former New York mayor and Trump lawyer was struck Saturday night in New Hampshire, hours after he stopped to help a domestic violence victim on the side of the road.

Giuliani’s security chief, Michael Ragusa, said the former mayor rendered aid to a woman in distress, called 911, and stayed with her until police arrived. Shortly afterward, while driving a rental car on the highway, Giuliani’s vehicle was hit from behind. “Mayor Giuliani immediately rendered assistance and contacted 911… he was struck from behind at high speed,” Ragusa noted.

The crash left Giuliani with a fractured thoracic vertebra, cuts, bruises, and injuries to his arm and leg. He was rushed to a nearby trauma center and is now “in good spirits and recovering tremendously,” according to his team. Ragusa stressed the incident “was not a targeted attack” and urged people not to fuel conspiracy theories.

Social media, of course, did what social media does—speculating wildly. When one user suggested the woman’s abuser might have followed Giuliani, Ragusa shot back: “He was in a rent a car no one knew it was him.” Still, Giuliani’s knack for odd headlines—whether it’s tripping at the 2024 RNC or courtroom antics—means people are quick to assume the bizarre.

Giuliani’s fall from “America’s Mayor” to disbarred Trump attorney and $148 million defamation judgment has been brutal. Now, he’s nursing real injuries on top of legal and financial ones. Recovery may be underway, but the comeback? That’s another story.

Source: My Daily Grind News

The man once known for cleaning up New York can’t seem to stop finding himself in wreckage—political, legal, or literal.