Splashdowns, Gas Spikes, and a Ballroom Brawl
Welcome back to The Morning Sixpack—where we cut through the noise and hand you the stories that actually move markets, politics and maybe your grocery bill.
NASA’s Artemis II crew is barreling home after a 700,000-mile trip around the moon, facing a 25,000-mile-per-hour plunge into Earth’s atmosphere before splashdown. The mission has gone according to plan so far, but after heat shield issues on Artemis I, all eyes are on the final minutes. It’s a triumphant moment for America’s lunar ambitions—but spaceflight still comes with a trust fall at Mach 32.
Inflation jumped to 3.3% in March as gas prices surged 25% in a single month, delivering the biggest jolt since 2022. Energy costs are bleeding into airfares and shipping, wages are barely keeping up and the Federal Reserve is stuck in wait-and-see mode. If oil stays hot, rate cuts get colder. For households already stretched thin, this is more than a headline—it’s a squeeze.
The Strait of Hormuz is technically “open,” but only 7% of normal ship traffic is moving as Iran restricts access despite a ceasefire. More than 600 vessels are stranded, oil markets are jumpy and President Trump is accusing Tehran of breaking the deal. A chokepoint that moves a fifth of the world’s oil is now a geopolitical pressure valve—and it’s barely releasing steam.
Melania Trump stepped to the podium and forcefully denied any relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, saying, “The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.” Her rare public address from the White House reignited controversy the president has tried to move past. The Epstein saga isn’t fading—it’s flaring again.
A federal judge accused the Pentagon of a “blatant attempt” to sidestep a court order restoring press access. The Defense Department says it complied and plans to appeal, but the ruling sets up a constitutional fight over journalists’ rights inside the building that houses U.S. military power. Press badges, meet separation of powers.
And finally, the Trump administration says its $400 million White House ballroom isn’t about glitz—it’s about national security. In court filings, officials argue that halting construction leaves the president vulnerable and disrupts underground security infrastructure. Preservationists disagree, and the legal battle could head to the Supreme Court. In Washington, even renovations come with a constitutional clause.
That’s your Sixpack. Moonshots, money shocks, and marble floors—all in one morning.
